I’m working on a communications writing question and need support to help me study.
Hi there,I do have a letter that needs a little changes. I will submit the letter and the comments I got on it. Also, I will submit the required materials. Pls make the changes needed and let me know what you did
____Here is the description
I look forward to reviewing your final drafts of the change letter. Remember, word count can be up to 1200, not the 700 listed in the assignment description.
Please see the assignment description for grading criteria. I will send this back to you with a 0 if it is not in proper letter format, does not have a signature (scan in a signature or use a signature-like font for the signature line), and does not follow the instructions below.
Please begin the document with your FINAL DRAFTS (labeled clearly as such in the top left corner). Include your ROUGH DRAFTS after them, and finish up with a quick REVIEW OF PEER FEEDBACK to give me a sense of the kind of feedback you received in workshop and how you responded to it.
Upload as a PDF or .docx. If you are using Pages, OpenOffice, etc., you should be able to save as a PDF.
here is the comment I got: Firas, it’s clear to see the passion you have for preserving the natural world. I commend this, and it’s particularly great to see this. Before I evaluate this, I would like to see each of the documents requested in the assignment description. I will lift the zero score as soon as I get the full complement of requested materials. Take your time and consider revising this final draft a bit. I would like to see the main issue, which is apathy among the employees (as far as I can tell), articulated by the end of the first paragraph. I think the personal nature of the letter can also be toned down somewhat. It’s clear your passionate, but I think it would be great to clearly articulate the problem, then explain how that is a problem for the organization. Explain how it moves Crystal Lake Company away from its stated mission, and perhaps even costs it donation dollars and productivity. Keep the passionate side of this letter while making it more professional and including rough draft, audience statement, and a review of peer feedback. Thank you.
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